Time goes by
by Keyne
Summary: Suwa tells us what has happened during the last ten years since they all received the letters. Suwa/Kakeru.


Ten years have passed since we first met Kakeru.

Ten years have passed since we received the letters.

A lot has happed ever since.

Hagita didn't seem so interested in attending medical school, but agreed after some persuasion on our part. Now he is on his way to become a well-known doctor.

Azusa did not marry a rich guy, but she is pretty "happy ever after" being the manager of a big company and earning a high wage. She dated Hagita for a few years, but they split up after a while. It seems they didn't love each other in that way anymore, so they decided it would be best if they continued as friends instead of lovers. It was a little awkward in the beginning, but after some time things went back to normal. They still bicker every now and then, but it's much better now.

Takako did pursue the modeling career, but has put a hold on that for a while since her first child was born. She says she'll come back after her baby has grown up a bit.

Naho was able to get over Kakeru when we finished high school. Sometime afterwards, she met this wonderful guy, got married and had a baby with him. She is very happy now.

After high school, I started playing soccer professionally. I've been in the last world cup, but now I'm thinking of becoming a coach after I retire. I didn't marry an actress, though.

I know you're asking "what about Kakeru-kun?".

Well, let's say life has not gone easy on him. Since we received the letters, we did everything in our reach to make Kakeru happy. And the more I tried to partner him up with Naho, the more he and I would get along. It was a very confusing time, that was. I was starting to realize my feelings for Kakeru were beyond friendship, even beyond my love for Naho. So I was divided between loving my sweet friend, whom I had known and loved for quite a while, and my new best friend, who she loved. I thought "even if I do love Kakeru more than I love Naho, it doesn't matter because Kakeru certainly loves Naho. Me getting in their way could cost his life."

So I put all my efforts into helping my two friends date. At first I didn't want to see, because I was really afraid of what would happen if I didn't follow the letter's advices thoroughly. Kakeru and Naho were supposed to be together. Everyone's letters said the same. So how could Kakeru start noticing me, of all people? How could he avert his gaze from Naho to me instead? How could he enjoy spending more time alone with me than with any of the others?

That still amazes me. So on top of having to deal with his exclusion from the soccer club and consequent bullying from his former teammates _and_ his mother's death, Kakeru had to deal with his own sexuality. It must have been too heavy a burden for him. Even _I_ had trouble accepting myself, so I can only imagine what was going through his mind at the time.

When the events written on the letters where becoming more and more distant from our reality, Naho and I had the most significant conversation of our lives. It was extremely difficult for both of us to be open about our feelings – for each other and for Kakeru – and our tears together were enough to fill an aquarium, but we managed to get everything across. We decided the most important thing for both of us was to make Kakeru happy, no matter what or who he chose to be with.

The days went on, we were all trying our hardest to have the best time of our lives – and hoped Kakeru felt better. He never met with his old teammates since he went out with me instead, and we had a wonderful day. I dare say it was our first date, though we didn't name it as that.

I confessed to him on New Year's Eve. Things got a little weird between us for a couple of days, but soon I forced him to talk to me properly and he wound up confessing to me as well. I asked him to be my boyfriend, but the idiot dared to refuse me! Can you believe it? After some harsh words and tears from both of us, he admitted to me he didn't want to make a commitment because he still thought of suicide.

"If you kill yourself now, you'll regret it forever. And you'll make us, your grandma, Naho, Hagita, Takako and Azusa regret it forever. Even your mom would regret taking her own life if it meant you took _your_ life because of her." At this, he started crying harder than ever before. "We all love and care for you, and would hate to keep on living without you. So please, if you can't live for yourself right now, live for the ones who love you until you can love yourself."

Sometimes, a support group isn't enough. So we all convinced him to go see a therapist, and soon he began taking meds.

I must say, depression isn't easy. Loving a depressed person isn't a piece of cake. There were days in which he was all happy and we all had a lot of fun, but there were times when he didn't want to see anyone. Now that he felt comfortable enough with us so he could tell us the truth, he didn't put on an act and faked enjoying himself, so he admitted he didn't feel like talking or hanging out. We learned to respect his space, but always keeping a close eye on him.

Of course there were days I would ignore his protests of being alone and would go to his house so we could be together, even if it meant he would just lie on his bed while I played his videogames, as though we weren't even in the same room. But I was there for him, and even if respecting him meant not talking to him, I still wanted to show I was there if he needed, and I cared enough I would go out of my way just to be with him. There were only a few times in which he really needed to be alone, so I was gently kicked out of his house.

I should mention that it's extremely painful to see the person you love most hate themselves. So you have to do all you can to show them they are important, that their lives matter, and that they are loved because of all their good qualities and in spite of their bad ones. That it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay to feel sad or empty even though you have a marvelous boyfriend (yes, he said he would date me on Valentine's day on our last year of high school!), a loving grandmother and some great friends. And most importantly, that you're there for them and they can always count on you.

Soon high school was over, and we all promised to keep in touch – and, even if we didn't, we would always meet in ten years to open the time capsule. We did take separate paths, and we did loose contact. My days were happily filled with studying, training hard to be the best soccer player ever, and dating my beloved boyfriend.

Kakeru had to stop college only once because of his depression, but his therapist, his grandma and I did our best to make him finish his studies. Now he is a successful IT specialist.

I won't say he completely got over his mother's death, nor that he completely loves himself. I don't think any of us do, so that's okay. I won't say he wasn't tempted again to take his own life either. But he was brave enough to live, and courageous enough to seek help from those around him when he couldn't manage on his own. Now I can gladly say he's been off medication for quite a while, and has turned 28 this year.

Kakeru still struggles from time to time, but I don't worry whenever he's alone at home or if there's any sharp objects laying around. He loves me enough he won't let me be a widower so soon.

Today we reunited with Naho and the others. Everyone was so happy to see each other alive and well it seemed as though we had never parted. We opened the time capsule and cried rivers when thinking of what could have happened if the us from the parallel world had not interfered with our lives. We were so thankful, and promised to keep in touch more often.

It is sad that we took different paths, but sometimes people leave from your life, even if you tried your hardest to make them stay. It's best to regret doing something than _not_ doing it. And even so, people leave. So you can only accept that, learn from it and grow as a person. And if it's necessary, send a letter to the Bermuda triangle.

But I must say. Since I received that letter ten years ago, I don't regret a single thing.

* * *

 **A/N:** Although I did like this manga very much, it pains me a little that the mangaka didn't really talk about how important it is going to therapy and taking medication if necessary (having a support group is gonna help you, but if you need meds, you need meds dude. There's no way your friends are gonna fix your brain's chemical imbalances).

I wanted to talk about some ugly aspects of depression the manga didn't show, like feeling empty even though you do have all the love and support in the world, and still struggling to live.

Needless to say, Suwa is a far better lead character than Naho. I admit I was shipping Kakeru/Naho until she completely failed to support him, and Suwa did her job instead over and over again. So halfway through the reading, I was already shipping the boys lol.

In my opinion, the group must have written about pursuing their careers on the letters, that's why I made Hagita a doctor, Takako a model and Suwa a soccer player, even though that's not what happened originally.

I think my other Orange fanfic is better than this one, but both of them show what I'd like to have happened, so I'm posting both. If there are any language mistakes, please let me know. I hope you enjoyed it!


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